The Tracks of My Tears
Tears often accompany grief. Even so, in the United States, when someone starts to tear up, they often apologize to anyone within earshot, as if crying is somehow inappropriate or unavoidable. Such is not the case in many other countries, where shedding tears is not only expected but encouraged. When it comes to expressing grief, Americans can learn a thing or two from our more expressive peers.
What Are Tears?
According to the American Psychological Association, the human body produces three types of tears:
- Basal tears, which keep our eyes lubricated
- Reflex tears, which we cry in response to physical triggers, like dust or onions
- Emotional tears, such as what we shed in response to loss
Men & Women in Tears
In a study of people in 35 countries, researchers found that the difference between how often men and women cry may be more pronounced in countries that allow greater freedom of expression and social resources, such as Chile, Sweden and the United States. Ghana, Nigeria and Nepal, on the other hand, reported only slightly higher tear rates for women. The lead author of the study, Dianne Van Hemert, PhD, says that people in wealthier countries may cry more because they live in a culture that permits it, while people in poorer countries, who presumably might have more about which to cry, don’t do so because of cultural norms that frown on emotional expression.
Japanese Crying Shame
Although the Japanese are known more for their ability to suppress emotions than to put them on display, the pendulum has recently swung in the opposite direction. The Mitsui Garden Hotel Yotsuya offers a suite available exclusively to women, which they call the “crying room.” For $83, you can check in and enjoy a quiet place to let the tears flow. Amenities include luxury-grade facial tissues as well as tear-jerker movies, for those who need a nudge.
Apparently, Japanese men need to look elsewhere if they want to turn on the waterworks. Fortunately, for them, according to an article in The Atlantic, for them, a Tokyo-based company, Ikemeso Danshi, which roughly translates to “Handsome Weeping Boys, fills the bill. They provide cry-therapy services for those seeking a catharsis they feel unable to express in daily life.
On the Job Crying: Tears
In several countries, professional mourners (aka Moirologists) to cry on behalf of grieving family members. In China, for instance, crying in public is discouraged in all cases except in times of mourning. With so little practice tearing up, many grievers hire professionals to cry in their place. So, if you’re a seasoned pro, you may consider hiring yourself out since the best criers in China are in high demand.
Tears: India in Mourning
In Rajasthan, lower-caste women mourn publicly. However, it is considered in poor taste for women in the upper caste to cry in front of common people. Because of this, families with means hire professional mourners to cry in their stead.
Why It’s Okay to Cry
Crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, otherwise known as endorphins. These feel-good chemicals help ease both physical and emotional pain. Once the body releases the endorphins, you may start to feel numb. Oxytocin gives way to a sense of calm or well-being. In fact, Healthline reports that crying detoxifies the body, helps self-soothe, dulls pain, improves mood and rallies support, helps you recover from grief, and restores emotional balance.
So, wherever you are, when you feel the urge, let the tears flow. In the words of Charles Dickens, “We need never be ashamed of our tears.”
About Foothill Funeral & Cremation in Glendora, California
If you know someone who has died, please allow us the honor to help you during this difficult time. Feel free to contact us now to pre-plan your own memorial or at your time of need (626) 335-0615. Our relationship with the United Methodist Church and Sacred Heart (which currently allows a maximum of 65 people) provides great places for mourners to host funerals and memorials. You’ll love the grandiose yet intimate settings in both locations.
