When You Can’t Attend the Funeral
Losing someone you love is difficult even in idyllic circumstances. When you can’t attend the funeral, you may experience even more distress than if you had been able to formally mark your grief and support. One of the most important processes during mourning is bidding farewell to the deceased at a memorial service or life celebration.
COVID-19 restrictions on the number of people who can attend such services currently exist across the globe. Unfortunately, due to Coronavirus, families cannot carry out formal rites of passage, such as wakes, burial practices, or celebrations of life. Such restrictions force people to grieve alone. In fact, in many cases, in an effort to keep as many people safe as possible, thousands of virus victims over the past five months have died alone. Many are left unable to attend the funeral. 
Substitutes if you can’t attending the funeral
During this devastating time, funeral homes work to accommodate families. We encourage everyone to find alternate ways to show they care – even if they cannot sponsor or attend a funeral. Usually, modifications can be made to funerals. These include ideas such as shortening services and limiting attendance. However, mourners may struggle to adhere to the 6-feet “social distancing rule.”
When you’re deep in the throes of grief, you naturally crave human interaction and touch. Some funeral homes organize drive-by ceremonies where mourners can see the casket as it passes by. Others organize funerals where mourners remain in their vehicles and watch the ceremony on a screen. Still others stream services.
In most cases, we host services that are very much like they used to be pre-COVID-19. We simply limit the number of attendees, require attendees to wear masks, and enforce social distancing guidelines. Click here to read other ways we are adapting our mortuary to the pandemic.
Can you show you care if you cannot attend the funeral?
Virtual wakes, funeral services, and memorials are becoming mainstream. Many funeral homes help people stream services or record them for relatives and friends who live far away and disdain technological substitutes. Even though high-speed internet is essential, virtual ceremonies are one of the easiest ways to pay your respects. If you plan to attend a virtual service, double check to make sure you know when to tune in.
If you can’t attend the funeral, send a message, food, or flowers
Depending on your religious traditions and/or the customs of the deceased’s family, send a message, flowers or food. All are appropriate gestures which indicate your care and concern. You could also send a card or message which could be read at the funeral or memorial service. These small contributions will help you feel that you are taking part in the ceremony.
Plant a tree as an act of remembrance
One of the best ways to show you care is to plant a shrub or tree in your lost loved one’s memory. This process helps assuage your grief. What’s more, you will feel yourself heal even as you watch the life grow.
Sharing memories
Create a memory boxes or add to an online tribute site (such as the one we offer clients at Foothill). This type of platform encourages anyone who cared about the deceased to share special memories. Also encourage children to share their thoughts as they work through the grieving process.
About Foothill Funeral & Cremation in Glendora, California
Whether or not your loved one died of COVID-19, we realize that the pandemic may affect your ability to sufficiently celebrate a life well lived. At Foothill, we will do our best to make sure you can mourn the loss of your loved one in a safe manner. Feel free to contact us now to pre-plan your own memorial or at your time of need (626) 335-0615. Our relationship with United Methodist Church and Sacred Heart (which currently allows a maximum of 65 people) provide great places for mourners to host funerals and memorials. You’ll love the grandiose yet intimate settings in both locations.
