Part 1 of a 2-Part Series
In this classic clip from Zoolander, Ben Stiller’s character, Eric, frets about his ability to “eugoogalize.” Although his word choice is comical, his insecurities about writing and delivering a suitable eulogy are based in fact. Many struggle with what to say at a loved one’s funeral. When a family member or friend dies, you could be called on to deliver the eulogy even as you are deep in grief. Should that occur, this blog post should help!
How to Write a Eulogy (Not a Eugoogoly) 
A speech given at a memorial service, a eulogy is usually delivered by someone who was close to the deceased, regardless of that person’s ability to effectively write or speak in public. The good news is that most of us prefer brief yet specific talks with an occasional touch of appropriate humor. To effectively write a eulogy, follow these five steps:
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Introduce Yourself
Even if most people know you, state your name and give a few words to describe your relationship to the deceased. Since emotions are at an all-time high at memorials and funeral services, clarification can allay reservations. A good way to begin is: “In case anyone who doesn’t know me, let me start by saying how I knew Larry,” for example. If the deceased was a family member, describe your relationship. If not, explain how and when you met. -
Set the Tone
How serious or lighthearted should the eulogy be? An effective eulogy need not be uniformly somber. Just make sure the tone suits the person who died. If the person you are mourning had a sense of humor in life, feel empowered to add humor after his or her death. Levity not only helps convey the personality of the deceased but illustrates some endearing qualities. That said, consider the circumstances of the death. If you are eulogizing someone whose death was untimely, your tone would be more serious than it would if it applies to a grandparent who happily lived to see her 100th birthday.
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Speak to the Crowd
Consider the audience. No matter who has passed, keep the deceased’s family and friends in mind, since the service is more for them than for the one who has died. (After all, he or she isn’t there!) Dwell on the positive. But speak the truth in love. Was the person stubborn or angry? Avoid specifically addressing negative personality traits. Instead, gingerly allude to the fact by saying something about how he or she made life interesting or kept everyone on their toes. Also, avoid inside jokes that might confuse most of the audience.
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Get Real
For attendees who weren’t intimately acquainted with the person who died, offer basic information. Your eulogy should touch on a few key points, such as family life, career achievements and hobbies. But try not to make it sound dry, like an obituary. Try to find a way to offer praise or otherwise honor the deceased.
Tip: In your grief, you could forget the names of important people on the day of the funeral. To avoid this, write down the names of family members and close friends. Say something specific about the family life and friendships of the deceased, which could comfort loved ones.
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Tell a Story
Don’t recite a list of the deceased qualities. Instead, mention a quality and illustrate it with a story. Before the service, talk to relevant parties to get their impressions, memories, and thoughts about the deceased. Then, record your own specific memories. Look for a common theme that ties ideas together. And try to illustrate the theme by using specific examples.
Check back next week, when we will conclude this series, and offer specific eulogy-writing steps.
About Foothill Funeral & Cremation
We love offering help with everything from writing eulogies to making final arrangements. We can also help guide you through the grieving process. Call us now or at your time of need (626) 335-0615. Feel free to drop by our Glendora showroom. Our relationship with United Methodist Church is the perfect place for mourners to host funerals and memorials. You’ll love the grandiose yet intimate setting. We proudly serve the San Gabriel Valley, San Fernando Valley, Los Angeles Basin, Orange County and the Inland Empire. Working in the mortuary industry since 1996, we have worked hard to build a reputation of quality, sincerity and trust. Please allow us to help you at your time of need or in the future. Call today (626) 335-0615 or contact us via email.