While losing someone to death is always difficult, in certain cases, the way they passed can exacerbate grief. Whether your loved one died violently, in pain, as the victim of a crime or in another troubling way, this blog is meant to shine a light on the particular pain associated with sudden death.
The Quick & The Dead
Whether you lost your loved one to an unexpected, random event, or over a long period of time, as with an illness, death sucks. We get that. But when death blindsides you, the associated sorrow comes especially hard and fast. The same is true when someone commits suicide. In fact, the Mayo Clinic reports the following emotions are unwelcome but common companions after the loss of someone to self-inflicted (sudden) death:
Disbelief and emotional numbness. You might think that your loved one’s suicide couldn’t possibly be real.
You might be angry with your loved one for abandoning you or leaving you with a legacy of grief — or angry with yourself or others for missing clues about suicidal intentions.
You might replay “what if” and “if only” scenarios in your mind, blaming yourself for your loved one’s death.
You might be gripped by sadness, loneliness, or helplessness. You might have a physical collapse or even consider suicide yourself.
Many people try to make some sense out of death or try to understand why their loved one took his or her life. However, you will likely always have some unanswered questions.
- Feelings of Rejection
You might wonder why your relationship wasn’t enough to keep your loved one from dying by suicide.
Victim of Crime
If your loved one was the victim of a homicide, the grief you will likely experience may be compounded. The Victim Connect Resource Center offers help for people feeling this type of grief. Following a homicide, you will likely experience at least some of the following:
- Afraid/distrustful of strangers
- Desire to self-isolate
- Helpless and powerless
- Intense rage sometimes turned inward
- Physical symptoms
- Preoccupied with your own personal safety and the safety of surviving loved ones
Accidental Sudden Death
Whether your loved one died as the result of a failed surgery, a freak accident, or a traffic collision; sudden death can overwhelm. Without time to prepare, you may face a flood of emotions you feel ill-equipped to handle. If ever there was a time to reach out for support, this is it. Turn to loved ones. In the midst of the pandemic, you may find it necessary to do so virtually or on the phone rather than in person. You may also consider finding a counselor to help work through your emotions. Also, try to establish a routine. And allow yourself time to grieve as different waves of emotion strike.
About Foothill Funeral & Cremation in Glendora, California
However your loved one died, we will do our best to make sure you can mourn the loss in a safe manner. Feel free to contact us now to pre-plan your own memorial or at your time of need (626) 335-0615. Our relationship with the United Methodist Church and Sacred Heart (which currently allows a maximum of 65 people) provide great places for mourners to host funerals and memorials. You’ll love the grandiose yet intimate settings in both locations.