Don’t Plan a Funeral, Tell a Story

“Some people hate funerals. I find them comforting. They hit the pause button on life and remind us that it has an end. Every eulogy reminds me to deepen my dash, that place on the tombstone between our birth and our death.”               ~Regina Brett

Since every life tells a story, so should every funeral. At Foothill Funeral and Cremation, we love listening to family members and friends recount memories about the deceased. You might be surprised to hear that these meetings are often filled not just with tears but with laughter. As a rule, people are more open to the idea of turning their loved one’s funeral into celebrations-of-life than they were when we first started working in the funeral industry in 1996. And we love the trend.

Would you like to turn your loved one’s life into a story to share at their memorial? Here are a few ideas to get you started:

1. Make sure the deceased would have approved. In other words, would they have enjoyed the décor, wardrobe, music, food? While they may not be there in the flesh to enjoy it, the ceremony and reception should honor their memory. If it does that, it will help paint the picture of their life.

1. To come up with ideas, jog your memory by compiling a list of tangible activities the deceased enjoyed, such as activities, hobbies, favorite sayings, achievements, special events. Referencing this list will help you while you plan.
2. Record the character traits you admired most. Was your loved one punctual? Make a note of that when inviting folks to the funeral, as an affectionate nod to the deceased.
3. Talk to family and friends to collect memories. This won’t just provide food for thought but may help in your grief.
4. It doesn’t matter why this person was important to the world. What matters is why he or she was important to you, your family and close friends. Make sure you consider the many facets that made them unique.
5. Consider your loved one’s favorite music. Try to select two or three selections to use for the service, if possible, though you may be able to include additional selections during the gathering time before the service and during the reception.
6. Collect reading material the deceased would have enjoyed – Scripture, poetry, quotations, etc.
7. Involve other loved ones in the plans, including children, grandchildren, friends and colleagues. Talking to others will help you understand their entire life instead of just the part that is familiar to you.
8. Consider creating a tribute video, with images assembled across a lifetime.
9. Assemble a memory table with still photos, diplomas, marriage licenses or anything else of note.
10. Once you have gathered the above, start your story. Every good one has a beginning, middle and an end. The beginning is birth. The end is death. So, it’s your job for the memorial to fill in the missing elements. But don’t feel as though you have to say it all with words. The point of our “to do” list is to inspire you to convey the history over the course of the entire event, not just while you and others stand at a podium, delivering a eulogy. You will honor your loved one simply by taking his or her tastes and preferences into account while you plan the event.

About Foothill Funeral & Cremation

We would love to help you plan the perfect event to honor your loved one lost. Feel free to contact us now to pre-plan your own memorial or at your time of need (626) 335-0615. Or, if you prefer, reach us by email or drop by our Glendora showroom. Our relationship with United Methodist Church is the perfect place for mourners to host funerals and memorials. You’ll love the grandiose yet intimate setting. We proudly serve the San Gabriel Valley, San Fernando Valley, Los Angeles Basin, Orange County and the Inland Empire. Finally, working in the mortuary industry since 1996, our reputation is one of quality, sincerity and trust. Please allow us to help you at your time of need or in the future. Call today (626) 335-0615 or contact us via email.