Death American Style

While other cultures celebrate death, Americans try to ignore the inevitable – hoping that a cure will be discovered in the future, so they will be able to escape unscathed. If we do believe we will die, many of us predict, or at least hope, that we will be too old and feeble to know the difference. In any given case, American Death is not optional — until proven otherwise. Even so, must of us do not like to talk about it, fearing the mere utterance of related words will hasten our demise.

We hate to break it to you, but – as Benjamin Franklin famously said, “In this world, nothing is certain except death and taxes.” At Foothill Funeral & Cremation, we rely on an accountant to manage taxes. But when it comes to death, we’ve got you covered.

Dead Celebrities

Although Americans do not like to talk about death when it is near, we tend to iconize dead people once the death benefits from the passage of time. This is especially true when a celebrity dies prematurely. Elvis Presley is perhaps the perfect example. His career continues unabated decades after his death. Stage acts all over the United States continue to imitate Elvis. Another cult figure is dead film star James Dean. Movie star Marilyn Monroe shares equal status, as does the martyred president John F. Kennedy, and slain civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr. Performers like Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, and Kurt Cobain take their own place in the iconography of the American dead.

Americans Avoid Discussing Death

One of the surest ways to determine how likely we are to avoid the subject of death is by the plethora of American euphemisms that abound:

• Bite the Dust
• Buy the Farm
• Cash in Your Chips
• Croak
• Depart this Life
• Expire
• Give Up the Ghost
• Go Home
• Go to Davy Jones’ Locker
• Kick the Bucket
• Meet Your Maker
• Pass Away
• Pass On
• Perish
• Push Up Daisies
• Ride the Pale Horse
• Sleep with the Fishes
• Wear a Pine Overcoat
• The list is far from exhaustive. Here is a link to some lesser known terms for dying.

More Euphemisms

Insurance companies advertise plans designed to meet “your final expenses.” Once death arrives, its victims are not “dead.” Instead, they are “loved ones,” “the departed,” “the deceased,” the “late so and so.” Rather than being buried, the dead are “laid to rest” or “sent to their reward.” Those about to die are “terminally ill” or “imminent.”

Sanitizing American Death

Most of us try to avoid death by refusing to acknowledge the reality of it. Through much of American history, death… sometimes by violence and often by sudden disease, was an everyday experience. People died at home and were cared for by their family. They were bathed, dressed and laid out in the parlor of their homes by relatives.

Today, death is remote. Although some people die at home, most will die in a nursing homes, hospitals, or hospices. When they die, they do so in an institutional structure that may not include supportive families or ingrained cultural rituals designed to usher in the acceptance of the death.

How Families Handle Death

People used to handle their family member’s deaths themselves, personally tending to the body and hosting wakes. Today, however, American mourners hire funeral directors to handle the details, a job (by the way) that we are more than happy to do. We get why you might think it’s gross to dress your dead grandmother or apply her makeup. But trust us when we say that you won’t prematurely bring about your own demise by talking about death. We are surrounded by it all day long. And, if anything, doing so makes us appreciate life more! Working for 30 plus years in the funeral industry has empowered us to try to live every day to the fullest. We encourage you to do the same!

Baby Boomers & American Death

In a recent article in Psychology Today, author Lawrence R. Samuel writes about the need for the paradigm to change.

“With the biggest generation in history already in or rapidly hurtling toward its 60s, America is on the brink of becoming a death-oriented society, I contend, something that we are not at all prepared for. Baby Boomers are especially unready for this day; their individual and collective deaths may become one of the most important chapters in American history.”

In other words, as most of the population ages and Boomers die, the rest of society will have no choice but to get a grip! Although average life expectancy in America has increased, at 79 for males and 81 for females, no one would argue that, even in ideal circumstances, life is short.

Failing to Plan is Planning to Fail

Many Americans fail to plan for their own deaths, even though “Pre-arranging/Pre-Planning” a funeral could make the foreseeable death much easier on the family left behind. In the absence of clear cultural norms regarding funeral details, all too many Americans push the planning aside until the hour is too late. This is also true even in the matter of wills, estate planning, and disposition of property, death is treated as something “optional” and eventually catches up with the family involved.

American Death Insulation

So, don’t let fear of dying keep you from making your wishes known to your family. In my industry, we specialize in insulating our customers – (who are the relatives of people who die) -from the unpleasantness of death. For the funeral home, death is an everyday occurrence; for our client, it is a sudden shock. People rarely plan for funerals and burials even when someone is slow in dying. You can pre-plan with us today, whether you choose to make payments a la Lay-a-Way, or just ask us to file your plans for use when the time comes. Most people find end-of-life planning freeing. Don’t miss your opportunity to weigh in on the way you will be remembered.

About Foothill Funeral & Cremation

We love helping people pre-plan their final arrangements and guiding families through the grieving process. Call us now or at your time of need (626) 335-0615. Feel free to drop by our Glendora showroom. Our relationship with United Methodist Church is the perfect place for mourners to host funerals and memorials. You’ll love the grandiose yet intimate setting. We proudly serve the San Gabriel Valley, San Fernando Valley, Los Angeles Basin, Orange County and the Inland Empire. Working in the mortuary industry since 1996, we have worked hard to build a reputation of quality, sincerity and trust. Please allow us to help you at your time of need or in the future. Call today (626) 335-0615 or contact us via email.