Good Grief

In general, Americans are less comfortable with the subject of death than we used to be. This could be attributed to our comparative lack of first-hand experience. After all, people live longer than they used to, thanks to advancements in medicine, hygiene and public safety. In fact, according to the National Institute on Aging (NIA), most babies born in 1900 did not live past age 50, while life expectancy at birth now exceeds 81 years.

But there is more to the story. In the past, people took long-term care of their sick and aged friends and relatives, many times in their own homes. Today, most usher loved ones to the hospital or hire assistance at the first sign of disease or mental deterioration. Likewise, emergencies send us scurrying to our cellphones for help by dialing 911. Regardless of whether we spent time with loved ones prior to experiencing their loss, death is a natural part of life. And in much the same way, grief accompanies death.

Immediate Emotions After Loss

When someone close to you dies, you will probably experience lots of emotions:

• Shock
• Disbelief
• Numbness
• Sadness
• Anger
• Loneliness
• And more

It’s unfortunate that you will likely be planning your loved one’s funeral even as you move through the stages of grief. Planning a funeral while you mourn can be difficult. So, make sure you work with a mortuary team who has lots of experience, so they can help guide you through the process.

Grief While Planning a Funeral

One of the hallmarks of grief in the immediate aftermath of death is that it’s easy to let yourself become preoccupied with legal and funeral-related tasks. Some throw themselves into the process without allowing time to reflect on their loss.

At Foothill Funeral & Cremation, we try to be sensitive to the emotions that our clients are experiencing. An ordained bereavement minister through the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, owner, Manny Godoy, and partner, Rocky Bautista, work with clients to help them grieve however they see fit.

Here are a few tips to help make the funeral planning process as easy as possible:

1. Choosing options. Work with a mortuary you can trust, so you will feel comfortable relying on their experience. You might also find it helpful to ask a friend or family member to accompany you to the funeral home. Or, if you work with a service such as Foothill Funeral & Cremation, you can arrange everything on the phone or even online.
2. Greeting Guests. At the funeral, you will likely interact with people you don’t know. Don’t feel the need to greet guests as they file into the chapel or other funeral service venue. On the other hand, if you would like to say, “Hello,” feel free to do so. You should feel comfortable doing whatever you want and realize that it’s fine to excuse yourself at any time.
3. Accepting Condolences. Many people worry what they should say to someone whose loved one has died. The answer is that there is no right answer. People grieve in very different ways. If someone says something offensive to you, try to brush it off, realizing that they probably mean well. If you feel overwhelmed immediately following the service, know that you are entitled to privacy and solitude. You can always thank guests later.

Centrally located at 402 West Baseline in Glendora, Foothill Funeral & Cremation proudly serves the San Gabriel Valley, San Fernando Valley, Los Angeles Basin, Orange County and the Inland Empire. With years of experience in the mortuary industry, we have worked hard to build a reputation of quality, sincerity and trust. We would be honored to help you at your time of need or in the future. Call today (626) 335-0615 or drop by our showroom.